First Published On Movement And Creativity on January the 18th 2021
Movement & Creativity Podcast #5: Be the Change w/ Neruma Ankti:
Like many people who are new to Feldenkrais, I hadn’t heard of it before until I was introduced to it by a friend who herself had stumbled upon it after thinking she was attending a yoga class. I was hooked simply by my friend describing what she had done in the workshop. She talked in an animated way about it. I remember her describing some movements as weird – unlike anything she had encountered before. She told me how in this workshop she did these movements with her tongue over her teeth and spelt her name with her tongue on the inside of her cheek. I did the latter and felt it deeply in other, supposedly, unrelated parts of myself - and that was it – my love affair with Feldenkrais had begun – I enquired about lessons and within a week I attended my first class. I had never attended any class so regularly in all of my life.
The Feldenkrais method of learning had caught my attention. It was a curious, intriguing, surprising journey of discovery which also facilitated me feeling better. For me, that meant less stressed, achy, tired, more able to cope with the challenges of caring for, my late elderly mother, alongside work and relationships. I felt more grounded, present and vibrant than I had ever felt during and after a class or workshop.
So, what has Feldenkrais got to do with Equality and Black Lives Matter?
In my view, the Feldenkrais method offers the means by which we can learn to become more like ourselves. What does this mean? I will expand by sharing my experience.
A friend of mine who I have known for nearly 30 years remarked to me, about 12 years ago, that I had become more like myself. She didn’t have to explain what she meant. I intuitively knew the meaning. It had to do with how I looked, moved, inhabited and expressed myself. Fast forward 5 years and I had started doing regular Feldenkrais lessons and another friend, who I have known for about the same time, made a significant investment to go on a Feldenkrais retreat having never done any Feldenkrais before. She did this because she saw, in me, something quantifiably different, in the way I inhabited myself and moved. I know that doing regular Feldenkrais lessons took those beginning seeds of me being more like myself than I had ever been and made it possible for this to be more consistent. Underpinning a Feldenkrais lesson is the concept of equality. A Feldenkrais lesson is a place where everyone can have an experience of this equality, as a core concept is that no two people are the same – that it is our differences however similar we may appear, that make us human. Throughout the course of a lesson we each find our own way to interpret the directions the teacher gives and move in a way that makes sense for us. We learn to be curious and open to discovering something new about ourselves which can ultimately assist in making our lives easier or richer in some way. No one has the perfect or superior way of doing the movement or sequence of movements.
A Feldenkrais lesson has within it the means by which we can have a lived, tangible experience of equality.
How can this learning extend into our everyday lives? An Awareness Through Movement Lesson or an individual Functional Integration lesson can be something that you do to alleviate pain or discomfort, or something that makes life easier in some way which, was the case for me. We can take the lesson on this level which is by no means small as it can significantly enhance the quality of life. Or we can use the lessons to enable us to have acceptance, openness, a knowing that we can learn to do things differently and go beyond perceived limits.
If we do Feldenkrais lessons regularly it is likely that we discover greater flexibility in our movement. We can learn to become more comfortable with the unfamiliar or the unknown as lessons contain these elements. This can expand our capacity to embrace change as we can integrate a sense of knowing that we have it within ourselves to figure out a way of navigating a new landscape.
We are in a new place, coming out of lockdown, to a fundamentally different world. For many, basic needs are now at the forefront of their mind as jobs are vulnerable or lost, hours reduced or increased, people are embarking on radically new ways of working – all this, alongside huge uncertainties about the future. Six weeks on from George Floyd’s murder, how can we sustain the commitment to ending the systemic racism that makes such occurrences commonplace, in the US and in other countries. How is it possible when it may seem like there are more pressing issues at hand?
Is there a way of attending to our own individual needs whilst also maintaining a commitment to equality, human rights and dignity?
I believe this is both necessary and possible. I did not arrive at the place of being more like myself overnight. It involved many years of commitment to get to this once elusive place, which for a long time, seemed out of reach and I know I have much to learn and unlearn to continue to inhabit a space where this is who I am. As a black woman, systemic racism alongside other challenges impacted my life. Mahatma Gandhi’s “Be the change you want to see in the world” has been a lifelong motivation for me to keep finding a way of making a difference. I believe that lasting change comes about in this slow incremental consistent work as well as through protest that can have more immediate infrastructure change.
In the quiet commitment of noticing how I / you feel when issues of racism come up, noticing thoughts and or feelings, maybe, of outrage, or despair, helplessness, or of the inclination or action of minimising the issue of racism, or noticing guilt, shame, embarrassment or whatever thoughts or feelings arise. In choosing to notice our thoughts and feelings, we can interrupt habits and provide space for a new way of responding. Putting attention how this feels in your body – if, for example, your jaw tightens, your heart races, your breathing changes is another way of interrupting habits we wish to change. Is it possible to exercise curiosity without judgement?
Intending to do this is useful, as guilt, shame or embarrassment around past behaviours or a feeling of current ineptitude may come up. In my experience, guilt, shame, embarrassment and helplessness can be immobilising. Can you notice if this is true for you? If this is so, can you intend to find a way out of this place – to know that you can move beyond this current inaction or fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, or feeling it is too much to deal with, to find your voice, your action, your way of “Being the change you want to see in the world?”
It is a relatively recent discovery for me, that doing what I can, even when I feel I don’t have enough fuel in the tank can actually be nourishing and rejuvenating. However, there are also times when I may really need to refuel in order to be effective. A Feldenkrais lesson could be the refueling and a way of building robustness. Consider doing a lesson with the intention integrating your learning to assist you in making your contribution to lasting change – of asking, how can this lesson assist me in making my contribution to equality?
-Neruma Ankti, Feldenkrais Practitioner